Aug 30, 2006

Lawful and Uncensored RPG Sex


(Disclaimer: This is a naughty post. Not explicit but naughty. If, by any chance, you happen to be a minor, I advise you to not read it. Better click here. Or google words like porn, bouncy and boobs.)

RPGs and sex. They go together like bicycles and fish. Like unwashed teenage boys and 19th century architecture. Like the police and democracy.

Despite this, RPG sex is definitely lacking. The real problem seems to be a distinct lack of sex rules, that would seamlessly integrate the whole carnal experience into the game world. Rules that would intrigue the average Game or Dungeon Master. Rules covering such topics as Inter-Species Fertility, The Wild Thing or Sexual Psionic Powers. Rules that would be free.

Thankfully, another nonexistent problem has been solved. Just download The Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (a.k.a. the AD&D Book of Sex), retrieve your trusted Advanced Dungeons and Dragons manuals and have a bath. A drink too. (Download link)

OR (and that's an apparently big or) try the BBSW Roleplaying Game, widely recognized (by me and a few mates) as the premier Hentai RPG. Download it here. Oh, and in case you were wondering, this is a full-fledged stand-alone freeware RPG. And BBSW stands for Big Breasts Small Waist. Quite a shock, that.

Related @ Gnome's Lair: Motivational RPG posters, Colbert's DnD, Dragon Magazine issue 1 (pdf)

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26 comments:

  1. Nice new style you got here Gnome - much brighter than the previous one. Nice choice of illustration too...!

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  2. Glad you like it Tomleece... And, yes, the illustration has been carefully picked from the Lair's crack-psychologist team...

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  3. I'll call the big blogger comment moderating guy...

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  4. okay im all better now.... see

    :I...

    and that drool is just a side-effect from the tablets...

    honest....(points to the labe...)

    "Causes droolin"

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  5. Whoa! Thats an eye catcher...
    Wonder if the ole' lady would wear a pair of those around the house... HHhhmmmm.

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  6. Yes Deitrix. She does....

    Oh, and I do know it Mr. Elderly, just like you know how to behave. Admittedly drool producing stuff...

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  7. I suppose (not fixating or anything) that the next question is why has she got body art? (totally ignoring the other obvious question about the rope)

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  8. It's not art... it's her skin... she's not human or anything you know...

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  9. oh oooohh! what is she? no dont' ruin the moment

    8)

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  10. Ok... I'll respect your perfectly understandable wish..

    (but does gnome actually know what she is? nobody knows...)

    :)

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  11. How dare you print pictures of my good lady wife without my permission! LOL (then snarls frustrated that others have shared her bootylicious contours...)

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  12. I'm so utterly devastated dear (and most talented) fatherkrishna. I'll turn into a flagelant. So sorry...

    :)

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  13. Here's the thing with Tabletop RPGs and sex.

    a) It's really hard to roleplay male and female sex if your contorling human people are both male. Sure it works on annonymous internet chat but when you're sitting scross from eachother it's a different story.

    b) If the other player actually IS female, you could instead be actually having sex.

    Now, if you want a mash up of sex and console RPGs, try Knights of Xentar. It's one of the only non "Dating Sim" hentai games I've seen/played. It's essentially a standard console style RPG with the ocasional sex scene. Actually they are fairly frequent.

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  14. Knights of Xentar, huh? Sounds interesting I must admit, thanks for the tip.

    As for RPG sex, I can't say I disagree with the points you make, but -really- these rules might even come in handy in a scenario. You know, an orc raped by a bugbear and their offspringetc...

    Point b though is totally accepted, but think of the orgy possibilities created...

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  15. Tabletop RPG Sex makes me thing Saving throws against pregnancy...

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  16. Oh my, indeed. What a fearfull thought....

    And, of course, LOL :)

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  17. *ROTFL* there was a "pen & paper" RPG a LONG assed time ago called "Dragon Quest" NOT the lame assed version TSR put out..and what a travesty THAT was!! nope this is the game that was out BEFORE tsr bought them out. :D
    we had some seriously RAUNCHY games!! then again we were all 20 something Nerds running round Germany. those games were a fREAKIN BLAST!!
    i miss em i do.
    ahj well..sex and RPG's? nope.. whole lotta action going on!
    Cheers!!

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  18. It also helps if you have some REALY AWESOME DM to run teh game..and thank the GODS we did!!
    ok, sorry for interupting, go back and talk amongst y'selves!

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  19. Well, that's something I definitely need to look for then... Not the raucnhy DM obviously...

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  20. Check out Sociolotron for a sex game with integrated rules for sex

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