Sep 7, 2006

Those fecking text adventures....

The adventure game, especially in its pure text form, most usually referred to as interactive fiction, has been widely and wildly considered a true gentleman's genre. A chap's even. People (and gnomes) have passionately argued that text adventures are the only games capable of catching a scholar's eye. The sole interactive way of evoking emotion. A step forward in interactive storytelling. Heralds of a new Art form.

Unfortunately the road has not been all rosy. A persistent problem has been the un-artistic ways, in which interactive fiction has always tried to reduce the player's expression. The genre's peculiar definition of obscenity. Its total refusal of accepting the existence of man's (and woman's) only free way to entertain himself (or herself). A consistent, even though admittedly funny, tendency to ignore sex.

Try typing simple words like "fuck", "arse", "shit", "piss" or "wank" in any text adventure you might have currently installed (not that many, huh?) and you'll see what I mean. Better though, visit the brilliant Profanity Adventures site (also a source for the piccies in this post) and have a laugh.

Related @ Gnome's Lair: Sick and disgusting games, the DOOM adventure, Text is -indeed- King

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28 comments:

  1. The best Text adventur I've played was a simple one called "Pick up the phone booth and die".

    There was also a rather clever one which name I can't remember where you were in a pool hall and only had time to make one move in order to win. You had to deduce that wining move by trial and error in your previous game plays.

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  2. Seems quite interesting... Thanks a lot Josh... The unnamed one too...

    BTW, would you happen to have a blog?

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  3. (rumages through Gnomes Big Bag of swear words........)

    '!@@**"$

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  4. A wise pick my friend...

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  5. Are you on fecking vacation or what..? -or does Dark Elf still have you tied up and wrapped in plastic while fecking your brains out..??
    Maybe she pulled your beard out as well... hhmmmmm.

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  6. Nope no vacation and nope haven't shaved yet...

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  7. Have you ever played the homestarrunner text adventre game. "Ye dungeon quest" I think that's what it's call. You should check it out sometime. I tired to play it but I couldn't pick up the ye flask!

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  8. Actually yes, as long of course as you're refering to Thy Dungeonman 3... I've even written a walkthrough for the game, and I can't help but recommend it. It was quite the laugh...

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  9. (rumages in the bag, picks out a Rumanian swear word)

    **$$!!!~@@

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  10. Now that you mentioned Romania... Georgi Hadji Rulezzz!!!11!

    Well, ruled...

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  11. And in a few of the brain cells that haven't atrophied, he still does.

    (puts away Gnomes swear bag)

    .......ah sweet sweet melancholy

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  12. Ah yes... A whole World Cup with a chair on my head, and still Romania didn't make it to the final...

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  13. The game that Josh could not remember was Rematch by Andrew Pontious.

    Your site's great, btw.

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  14. Why, that's just brilliant A.L. Thanks a ton! Oh, and a great site you got there yourself!

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  15. (ponders the hidden literary meaning of the oddly placed chair.....)

    indeed!....... wher'd Josh go anyway?

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  16. Well the chair was no metaphor... Unfortunately. I had discovered that Romania did better while it was on my head, so I just kept it there... Sort of like an oversized good-luck charm. Then Romania lost to Sweden in the quarter finals...

    Oh, and Josh went fishing. I believe.

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  17. (ponders the incredible weight of the romanian land mass perched atop Gnomes head.......... imponderable)

    give us a clue?

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  18. What sort of a clue would you like?

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  19. (considers.....) i'll start with the easy clue.. work my way up...

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  20. What woud an easy clue consist of?

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  21. a generally mentally untaxing sentence, which when analysed by a four year old, might lead to a logical solution as to the enigmatic reference you made to having a chair and the entire land mass of romania on your head....

    so when your ready to begin.....

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  22. OK. well. I've already explained everything really.

    I watched the whole World Cup of 94 having a chair on my head. Literally. Thought it was bringing luck to Romania. Georgy Hadji is God. Chair didn't hhelp much. Stop believing in luck. Grew up.

    Ok?

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  23. ..... you watched the world cup with a chair on your head.......

    you coulda given us a clue gnome, that was too easy......


    where the f... did you get the notion that a chair on your head would hel...

    i'll make us a nice cup of tea and we can discuss this more logically

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  24. I was so much younger you see, and football can make even grown men do extremely silly stuff, like for example actually attending the game...

    Nice tea, though.

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  25. ahh now i'm getting the picture...... indeed football has amazing qualities in eliciting the most unusual responses

    the desire for alcohol for example, is never at it's highest than when i'm watching a football match

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  26. Amazing. Same thing here. Then again drinking while lancing a chair is quite a task...

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  27. ...lol.... yes i can see the building dilemna you faced..... sorry headed....

    :)

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