Jul 25, 2011

The Battles of the Three Plains

Seeing that this blog's favourite elderly person has escaped the terrible (yet oddly wine-filled) dungeons of the Lair  and is back in the land of the blogging, I thought I'd celebrate by writing something about wargames, thus reviving an almost forgotten Gnome's Lair tradition. Handily, it was only (very) recently that I ran into the pretty impressive and impressively free to grab Three Plains fantasy wargame too, which you dear and above all cunning reader can also grab by visiting the previous link and providing the site with your email. Haven't received any sort of spam myself just yet, so I do believe it's pretty safe.

Then again, such a tiny risk is definitely worth the enjoyment you'll be getting, especially considering this is a pretty lovely and obviously Warhammer inspired game that doesn't require miniatures, but appropriately demands a table to game on. Three Plains comes complete with all the soldiers, heroes, monsters, war machines, counters and bits of terrain required to play out some glorious battles in equally glorious PDF; all you have to do is print them, stick 'em to paper bases and avoid paying the exorbitant prices miniature manufacturers have been asking those past few years. Not that you -or for that matter I- can't use proper fantasy gaming miniatures should you so wish, but the papery ones do look surprisingly nice...

As for the game itself, well, it really feels quite a bit like Warhammer, meaning you'll have units (complete with flanks and rears) charging each other, heroes tipping the balance and a variety of magic users, fantasy races, mercenaries, magic items, exotic poisons and catapults to spice things up. Three Plains, you see, is already quite a rich game; the well-written main rulebook and more than a few expansions/armybooks such as the Orcs of the Blank Lands one are already available to download and are all that you'll need to start playing. Well, okay, some dice too.

Now, have a look, will you? I'll wait and open a champagne to further celebrate Elderly's return while you're reading and playing with them scissors.  

Related @ Gnome's Lair:


  1. (with superhuman hearing, honed from years of living under Gnome's house..)


    (reads post)

    Thank you, you most illustrious and astonishing Gnome :) . I see your top secret, Google search gadgetry is still working....

    (stares enviously at Gnomes Greybox)

    A gem of a giveaway indeed....also the perfect gaming solution, while I'm waiting for my electricity to be turned back on...
    Dice check
    Paper check
    Scissors check
    Glue check
    Cardboard check
    Printer........ sigh!
    Bookmark weblink check

    (looks at champagne bottle....)
    Glasses check :)

  2. (taps lovingly the blackish/grey box that controls every aspect of life in the soon to be established gnomic empire)

    (raises glass)


    Ah, and here are them complimentary scissors.

  3. (glug...) comp scissors.... for me? and I noticed your linky to my shackle on twitter.. thank you!
    ..your generosity knows no bounds.
    (Raises his glass....)
    To Gnomes!!!

  4. As exactly does my cellar, then again you've noticed that haven't you? It's extra-dimensional; just to keep the humidity right.

    And you are on twitter too now dear Elderly?

    (raises glass)

    To Elderlies!

  5. Took me an hour and a half to figure out the new youtube script....Got myself on facebook, which was an effort in itself, Twitter planned for tonight (crosses fingers, spills some champagne...)

    Fraid I've lost some of my tech IQ in that extra-dimensional cellar of yours. Where do you find the time to manage them all, read, play games and write?

    (considers one portal to rule over blogger, twitter and facebook ....stares longingly at Gnomes Greybox)

    Here's to tech!!!!

  6. Guess I'll have to look for you on twitter and facebook too now. How lovely. And don't worry about the champagne. Spilling it is the first step in appeasing them Greybox Gods.

    Oh, and time -well, it's so relative and flexible elderly... Not having a proper job and having finished that PhD does help though.


  7. :0 to Phd's you clever Gnome you!


    (spills more champagne....)

    Hic! congratulations! :)

  8. Ah, thanks. You can't imagine how incredibly useful such things are... Not much really. Then again I never wanted a proper job. Or money.

    (sips some champagne)

    Further gnomic adventures include 10 hellish months in the army and getting seriously scared at a demonstration...

  9. An accolade though all the same... one I would be proud to have and I imagine not arrived at without some beneficial personal insight and Gnome sweat.

    In a time of mass unemployment and my long hiatus, work is no longer a driving force in my life, fool I was for so many years.....what is a proper job nowadays...

    (ponders what Gnome put in the Champagne....)

    I shiver at the thought of your military servitude, and witnessed the intensity of the protests in Greece...

    A toast...

    To life!!!!!

    Now where did you put our strategic plan for world domination...?

  10. A proper hob hey? Well, one that pays for starters. Then again, the good lady of the lair hasn't been paid since November and she's got a proper job...

    As for the military... It's been over a year and I still passionately hate them and wish to run into my old commander. Preferably in a dark alley.

    Anyway... A toast! Yes!

    To Life! To World Domination!

    (You didn't lose the plans did you?)

  11. :( since November? :/ I feel a shillelagh moment coming on, where's her boss at!!

    ...if you meet your commander in the dark, you could accidentally bump into him and hurt him...

    ...oh I see...

    I didn't lose the plans? but I left the plans here... points at Gnomes NEW coffee table...

    ..please tell me you packed everything when you moved...

  12. Yes, yes, of course; I packed and labeled everything. Ah, here they are. See?

    (points at plan)

  13. (takes out reading glasses.....)

    ....that's the script for your new vvvv level..

    Looks through Gnome's filing system....
    (....uses Google translation)
    what letter did you file it under?

  14. Under "T" I believe. As in "The Plan", Oh, and excuse the cock up. It's all that tea making the rounds; seems to have confused me.

  15. ..understandable, but a beautiful brew and a fine addition to Gnomes Lair!


    T you said, right

    (flicks switch on Google translator....)

    oh look butterfiles, erm flies,

  16. With butter? Awww, how cute.

  17. (elderly smiles...)
    ....yes even that little pink one with the uzi....

  18. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!

  19. (elderly notices Gnomes alarm....)

    ..no worries, I mean how is he going to pull the trigger,

    ....no fingers 8)